A while back I wrote about this Moovember thing....Guys - Porn-staches are not in - walk around downtown these days, there is some NASTY looking facial hair on the go - Congrats to all for doing it tho - lots of great people raising lots and lots of money for research!!!
Fear, trepidation, disbelief and anger are feelings that have recently circled through my body like a cyclone.
Midway through my 40’s I didn’t expect to be carrying on my life like a 70 year old, fielding calls about friend’s various illnesses. I suppose I am exaggerating a little (the lovely and talented Catherine is nodding her cute little head to that one!), because it’s not an everyday occurrence, but it seems odd to be dealing with these things, and even odder to know that the people dealing with it are so young.
Neither of my parents made it to their 70th birthdays, so I feel I know a little bit about the fragility of life. Hearing this summer about one of my oldest friends being stricken with Colo-Rectal cancer was very shocking, 47 years old and having stage four cancer must have been a shock for her, let alone her family. Now we’re dealing with this all over again, finding out a couple of weeks ago about one of my wife’s and my dearest friends being stricken also by the colo-rectal bug.
Two women, two lives, one disease.
I spoke to a neighbour the other day and asked him (as a man somehow does) if he’s had the colonoscopy – to which he answered that his doctor told him to wait until he’s 50. My doctor told me the same thing, but I demanded he send me. My neighbour was willing to wait the three more years until he was 50, I strongly suggested he not wait.
It’s an interesting dilemma that we have in this world. Most people don’t develop colo-rectal problems until after 50, yet we’re dealing with two separate cases where one is only 47 and the other is 55 and thought to have been living with the disease for “5 or so” years.
So why are we waiting anyway?
This blog is generally something meant to be funny, interesting or a combination of humour, interest, ennui and twisted stories of nothingness, it’s not meant to be a medical advice column, however this is a gentle prod for any and all of you that are out there reading (at last count I have 6 readers!), if you haven’t been tested in the past 5 years and are over the age of 45, go see your doctor and ask him for a referral to have a colonoscopy. With the exception of the night before, the process is painless and the piece of mind that you might and most likely will be afforded is something that words can never define.
And now we return to our regularly scheduled programming….
Ever wondered…
What do chickens think that frogs taste like?
Is there such a thing as an un-guided missile?
If I go swimming naked am I skinny dipping, or chunky-dunking?
Can a vegetarian eat an animal cracker?
How come Permanent Press isn’t permanent?
How does one know when to tune their bagpipes?
Why does the drive-thru banking machine have Braille dots on the keypad (try it – it’s true!)
If you own the land your house is on, how deep into the ground do you own?
Looking back today, I notice that my writing has been pure shit for the past I don’t know how long.
No need for an apology, I’ve got great excuses:
I’m an amateur writer, nothing more, nothing less – never made a claim otherwise!
I am reaching to find a topic. Amateur-writer’s block I suppose.
Wherever I go, whatever I do a million stories fly right through my head, sit at a typewriter (just checking to see if you are paying attention) and nothing but pointless drivel comes to mind and I publish it as if a cry for help.
Last night, attending the Raptor’s-Bulls game another 43 stories came to mind and I figure that I should use my intellectual recall and see how many of them I can remember:
Mouvember – Has anyone else noticed that these people who are growing facial hair for a cause look really awful? Pornstaches abound in downtown Toronto and I’m not liking it.
Raptor’s crowds – Still one of the more knowledgeable sporting crowds in our city – Really shitty dresser’s but game smart.
Facebook – Are we becoming a generation of people who become friends with too many old friends and never have enough time for the new ones? I have left behind many a life in my life – generally for reasons good, bad or indifferent. Why am I revisiting them? Actually I am mostly kidding here – old friends know me the least and therefore still think of me as normal – Newer ones know better.
Politics – The world is being lead by some incredible people these days – and we’re in Canada, being led by a moron. Of course it’s okay though, we live north of the greatest country in the world who’s leader has grown in reputation to be the greatest leader of his day – Nobel Peace Prize winner of all things….and with all due respect, while Obama is far from a moron, he’s not a whole lot better than what we have in this country – although he’s got a good shot at the Heisman, which Harper will never win!
Laws – Why, in the free world, where religion is free and owning a gun is a right, is it that getting married to whoever you want is not allowed. I can’t understand how the country who rants wildly about their Freedom of Speech, Freedom of this, that or the other looks at gay marriages in such draconian terms. Don’t even get me started on their views on drugs vs. alcohol.
Lest we Forget – Hug a veteran…and do it now! (See above – Gay Marriages) hug softly and manly please!
H1N1 - Been there, done that – get the shot – not fun….But it’s better than any Tony Little fitness contraption for making you lose weight.
Mike Danton – Not going into who this guy is – but the years in prison haven’t changed the core facts, this is a disturbed young man who can’t now nor ever could be trusted.
Hockey parents – different – luckily I don’t get to worry about them on Max’s team (Select/Houseleague parents are much cooler) but you see them in the rinks – everywhere. They really need to replace all coffee in arenas with Decaf – Stat!!!
Brad Pitt – don’t ask why he’s in my head. I can’t stand his wife – but Brad is just such a fricking nice guy I love him - I can’t name three movies he’s been in but have heard/seen him interviewed three times in the past 6 months and he’s hard not to like. According to Bill Maher, he also rolls the best joints in Hollywood – another strength!
HST – See above – our political leaders are morons. HST under various names has been and is in place in loads of different countries. You might think that our bandits leading the country would look to these other countries to what works and what doesn’t work. At this point I foresee that we will be paying more tax than ever in this country in less than a year and the government doesn’t seem to care – Ummmm….pay attention folks, there is sure to be an election in the next 18 months – not that any government ever reforms tax in this country, but under Miller (Toronto), McSquinty (Ontario) and Harpoon (The Republic of Canada) we have never paid so many user fees and taxes in our lives and none of these leaders are running balanced budgets. Do the math folks….Vote Green Party!
Every year around this time (Indeed exactly at this time) we stop for two minutes and pray and give thanks to the men and women who have gone to war or gone to battle or gone to defend the freedoms we enjoy in Canada. My kids understand it today, better than they’ve ever understood it and yet I am still puzzled. I gave thanks to a soldier on the subway this morning. What he had done in terms of being a member of the military something that is foreign to me. I did this today, but I’m not the kind of person who does it every day and really, I am not sure I would ever start.
Military is a necessary evil in the world. It’s an evil I pray every day that we don’t need and it saddens me to know every day that awaken we still need it.
I am vehemently opposed to war, and am vehemently opposed to peace keeping missions. I am not naïve enough to think that they aren’t necessary, it’s only that in my idealistic mind (chemically induced or not) war is bad and evil. If not for war the world would be a horrendous place, and Hitler and many others would have us believe that it’s supposed to be that way – War has prevented it from being that way.
Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini and many others made the world stand up and take notice. They forced the “free” world to act upon their evils and to fight a war that prevented them from taking over the world.
That was 1945 and since then, there have been countless other wars, wars in which Canadian’s have fought or kept the peace. Korea, Vietnam, Cuba (what’s the worst that could happen there? They stop making cigars?), Haiti, Cyprus, Afghanistan, Iraq, Congo, Grenada and so many other’s it’s hard to contain in a small blog. These wars have been civil uprisings for the most part. The world wars of the first half of the last century a thing of the past, todays wars are more police states. Afghanistan and Iraq are great examples. Iraq is paying the price of having two religious sects at the top of their food chain, two sects who don’t really like each other. Afghanistan, the country that Canada and the US once supported financially in their battle for freedoms against the evil Russians, is now the enemy, the money we threw at them was used for bad apparently and now we’re paying the price, the price being 133 men and women who have been killed in an effort to keep peace in Afghanistan.
The efforts in Afghanistan and other places are boldly and proudly fought by our military. The reason’s they are there are moot, they are military, we recruited them into that career and they proudly where our uniforms (which by the way are very ugly) and do as we say and ask.
But why? Why are we trying so desperately to effect change in Afghanistan?
Once heralded as an attempt to find and bring to justice the fearless leader of Al Quida, Barrack Obama Bin laden, this is now about saving face.
Bin Laden for his part? The guy is one of two things. He’s living on some lavish estate somewhere in the world (you don’t believe he lives in a cave do you?), maybe even in the US! The second option, the one I put most of my belief into is that Bin Laden is Bin Dead. I also believe that the CIAor some higher authority knows this. Have you heard his name lately? He’s no longer the prime target of the Afghanistan or Iraq missions, the missions have shifted to creating a better more Americanized place to live.
Our men and women serving for their part don’t care. They aren’t paid to care, they are paid to carry out the duties of the military, and that is what they do. The do it admirably in fact. They always have. World War II – would not have been won when it was if not for the carefree and tactical stylings of the Canadian Military. The same can and will be said of Afghanistan, where sadly we will lose many more brave soldiers before the mission is completed.
Funny, but in my times playing poker on line, any military personnel from the US come into the rooms and announce who they are and usually what their role in the military is or was. EVERY American in the room says thank you to them and that’s regardless of the day.
We need to adapt the same thinking in this country, despite the fact that many of you reading this are supportive of wars or military actions.
Don’t thank a soldier today because it’s November, thank the soldier tomorrow because it’s any month. They didn’t create the wars but they are the ones (unlucky or not) who are fighting them to keep Canada free.
Few teams in the professional sports industry turn me off as much as the Leafs. Since I left Ontario initially in 1971, I have grown to despise the team sometimes known as Canada’s team. Few team equal that distaste, but one consistently gnaws at me near my top detestation list and that is the New York Yankees.
So last night I found it odd to hear me cheering for the pinstripes as they neared and eventually won their 27th World Series Championship.
Why, after years of learning to hate the Bronx Bombers was I cheering. A-Rod is arch-enemy number one. I hate him more than most. He’s a cheater and no one seems to care. Jeter? Can’t stand him, but he’s got something to like. AJ, Cano, Pettite? Hate em all – cheaters, unfaithful, obnoxious all packaged into three! I don’t hate Hideki, I don’t hate Johnny Damon or Swisher or Sabathia, but give me five minutes with anyone named Steinbrenner and I will show you severe dislike!
It dawned on me in the eighth. Mariano Rivera is da’ man. He’s the major reason I was cheering them on. At age 40, Rivera has been “bringing it” for 14 major league years and closing Yankee games for 12 of them. In 12 years as a closer (that’s a LOT of years in that role) he’s basically mastered the role and at the age of 40 he’s shown no signs of slowing down. Sure he’s had good years and bad years, but in the end, his 526 saves, 44 of them this year alone. His 10 years as an all-star and his 7 times pitching in World Series’ along with an ERA under 1 have proven him to be the best.
In saying all this, I hope he retires now. At 40 and still full of gusto and able to get anyone out at anytime, this would be the best way to go out. Few if any ever go out on top, and I am hoping that this crafty Panamanian recognizes that he has a chance to do what so few have done before him. Retire as a champion.
