Shier than what?: January 2009

Jan 28, 2009

Communications Breakdown

So here we go again…funny what cranks my brain into gear.

Missed a day at work yesterday as I writhed in pain in the throes of passing a kidney stone that still hasn’t passed. Word is that it might have gone back up somewhere to hide for a while. Some men and a few women will tell you that this is the closest thing for a man to experience to that of childbirth. Fricking painful it is….Can’t wait for this little puppy to return!

So I was sitting the other day in a restaurant – not an expensive one – and two men sitting next to me, against the window to the outside world were chatting. Now step back a bit and let me preface this story by telling you that I live in a Blackberry world. I work in the most populous city in Canada and in the downtown core it appears that easily half of the people are hooked up to one of these devices. The cool ones have an iPhone, but it’s likely their own personal phone because companies in this country have already spent so damned much money to RIM to set up and operate a BB environment they wouldn’t dare think about crossing that line in their corporate spending budgets! So there they were, two grown men, obviously emerging for the first time this fine day from the underground (we have an expansive underground shopping world that links most of the downtown core’s building to one another). The first gentleman is staring intently at his BB ignoring the other, when the second gentleman says “I wonder what the weather is like today”….The first thinks for a second, moves his thumb to and fro and announces “It’s light snow and -6”, he second pulls his Blackberry out and about two minutes later announces to his buddy “Really? Mine says -5 and moderate snow”.

I laughed so hard that the milk I wasn’t drinking actually spewed out my nose!

Why did I laugh, because I looked out the window and saw that it wasn’t snowing at all (never did that day in fact) and it was actually -10.

The point? Well it’s fairly sad to me (and I am one of the sad ones) as to how connected we have become and how connected we feel we have to be. As we walk through an underground system staring at our palms the emails, the web, the phones, the whatever-you-want-them-to-be’s keep us as close as we want to be to wherever/whoever we want to be. I love nothing more than spending time with my family, but I can admit that the amount of time that my family spends disconnected is limited. I know that I am the absolute worst in the family and that the kids are the absolute best (my wife is really pretty and great so we’ll tell her she’s a close fourth on this one). So I sit there with the kids, who are as excited as a castrated newt to sit with me, and within seven seconds they have broken into a game of mini-sticks or mini-hoops or Wii or whatever and what am I to do? Okay the bathroom needs renovating, but come on, not today! Anyways, enough about me, back to dolt and moron in the restaurant. What has this world come to that two grown men who want to know the weather need to consult their mobile computers to get the weather, and not just look out the window? I’m going to put down my BB now and talk to people…..the only problem is the people I need to talk to are all stored in my BB and I don’t know their numbers or where they live!

Jan 22, 2009

Random Introductions & other forms of hedonism

Well since my last blog sit has been shut down for "non-payment" of bandwidth, I have decided to lay my hat here instead. A big thank you to the folks at Blogger for granting me the space to lay my rants, raves and otherwise inane writings that contribute nothing to this world, other than to self-servingly promote my ego to readers like you.

Let's start by explaining that I am an average guy living in an average neighbourhood, I have two exceptional children (if they aren't reading this, then you should know that they really are not that exceptional, but I'm covering off all the bases here), I have exactly one exceptional wife (because where I live that's the legal limit!), who puts up with my negativity and boorish behaviours on a daily basis but apparently my undying love for her makes her keep coming back for more, we have one car, three or four computers and an almost sister with whom we share a driveway. I'm a monstrous sports fanatic, to the point where I will watch curling or darts from time to time. I love to cook, and some days I can be fairly good at it, other days I think that maybe I should stick to writing. I have a great job – and I choose to keep that a secret, because my writings are not always in keeping with the image of the job I hold.

Having once worked in the music industry I have a love and hate for all things music. I am a music collector with somewhere in the neighbourhood of 7000 – 8000 CD's housed mostly on computer. My older brother, also a collector of music, once explained that he and I were alike in that while we love music, neither of us is a music lover, rather we collect music. In saying this he made me realize that I have probably never listened to over half of the music I own – but don't ask me to give any of them up!

My blog? Well I am best described as a period piece writer. I write pieces to go in a blog every once in a while. I am writing today, and may write again tomorrow, or the next day or both, then I may go a month or (as in a recent time) as much as a year without scribing anything – it's my blog and I will write if I want to!

What do I write about? I write about things that piss me off, things that make me happy, I may share a recipe, I certainly will tell you what I'm watching on TV, I may even write a critique about this, that or the other, and a lot of what I write is to talk about what I am listening to on my device (it's an iPod, but I don't want you to think that they are paying me to write this stuff!).

Growing up I had heroes. Living in Canada, a lot of my heroes were hockey players, Maurice Richard, Bobby Orr, Jean Beliveau, Darryl Sittler, and of course the greatest of them all Jiri Crha. In the arts I have always loved the music of Bruce Springsteen and the writings of Hunter S. Thompson. And that pretty much sums me up....I'm a Hunter S. Thompson wannabe without the drugs and booze and the paycheque from Rolling Stone.

So without further ado, let's get started on my blog.

For starters; I sometimes wonder if the deal with Barrack Obama (The Irishman that is not to be mistaken with O'Reilly)is more than even he wanted or expected. Don't get me wrong, I think he's an incredibly charismatic man, who not only earned the title of president, but more importantly, he deserved to win. He was hand's down the best candidate that either party had to offer and his oration skills are far better than any other American politician I have seen in years. Sadly, I think the world has expectations of him that may be far greater than even he can achieve. In speaking to my wife the other night, I mentioned that I thought the first 60-90 days in office with be the easiest; change everything that Alfred E. Newman (Dubya) did in his final 7 years and 11 months in power. Literally speaking, that won't take too long.

But what next? Make no mistake about it there will be plenty of things to do, but this is a relative newcomer to the political world and while he talks the talk and walks the walk, he'll also stumble and screw up – it's unavoidable, younger leaders always screw up something, big or small, it won't matter.

The problem as I see it - brace yourself – he's black. No it's not a problem that he's black, but the problem is that he's young and he's black and he's setting the table for future leaders in the "greatest country in the free world". When he stumbles, how long will it take for some white extremist from the south to blame it on race? I know the US has come a long way since the days of segregation and Jim Crow laws, however it's always been my opinion that a country that allows a gun club to be the largest "non-political" political group in the country, is only one or two steps clear of the stone ages. I don't really know where I am going with this writing today. I love the Irishman, but I hope his legacy is that of the greatest president in the U.S. rather than the first black President in the US, which is where we seem headed.

Thanks for reading.

See you manana…or the one after.

Labels: black president, cooking, introductions, music, obama, president

Music du Jour

Music: Okay those of you who know me, know that I am completely hooked on The Airborne Toxic Event, an Indie band out of L.A. who were featured on the Late Show with David Letterman last Friday. Wow, that was one freaking awesome performance. At the end of the day, you kind of forget (or most likely have no idea) what it's like to be an Indie band.

So the band plays Letterman, wakes up the next morning checks their PVR's (portable TIVO's maybe?) only to find out that they didn't tape it right and they now have no record of their performance. That's cool, it's CBS, they can get a copy right? Well no, it's now Saturday and CBS is closed. They know that they've just pulled off their best performance ever, possibly one of the best ever on the Late Show, but they have no proof. Some doofus-dude in Toronto has illegally gained possession of the Letterman show, thrown it into his Windows Movie Maker, edited the interviews and other parts out of the show and thrown the video of the concert onto YouTube. The band sees this, and their only course of action is to email said doofus-dude and ask for a copy of the video for their own website. There are about 500 copyright infringements taking place including some cross border ones that I would rather not think about. In the end, the band has their video, the world is talking about the performance and the doofus-dude carries on in obscurity in his average home in the average neighbourhood with his exceptional children and his exceptional (and only) wife (who's really good looking by the way!). And here you were thinking that Indie bands lived on champagne and Strawberries and M&M's (with the brown ones removed)….NOT

Say What?????

$150,000,000 for 10 parties?????

Okay, call me crazy but aren't we clamouring in Canada because the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver are going to cost in excess of $1.3 billion….Hey The President spent 150 mil for one night's parties and they are no villages or luge runs left over for the kids to use!

Blogger Poll

So here's a poll for EVERYONE to complete:

(Please write your answer in the comments section)

Which celebrity is going to go down as being the most messed up in 2009?

a) Katy Perry (Too squeaky clean to kiss just a girl)

b) Amy Winehouse (Incumbent)

c) Britney Spears (Former Incumbent)

d) Lindsay Lohan (Perennial runner-up)

e) Axl Rose (the Forgotten One)

f) Steven Tyler (Legend)

g) Michelle Obama (Come on - this family is too perfect!)

h) ________________ (write in votes accepted)

Recipe - Grilled Vidalias

Vidalia Balsamic Onions

Here's about the easiest recipe I can share, AND it's a guaranteed crowd pleaser!

- Brother Petey gave me this recipe about 10 years ago, but he's a lot older and seems to have forgotten, claiming as recently as last year that he's never known this recipe - At any rate their were no brain surgeons hurt in the development of the following recipe!

1 large Sweet Onion (per two - three people) - I prefer Vidalia but anything similar will work

Balsamic Vinegar

Place onion on cutting board with root ends facing outward. Leave skins untouched, cut onion in half. Trim root ends a little to allow onion to stand on it’s end (it doesn’t need to stand perfectly – in fact I rarely cut the ends at all). With face of onion towards you, slice an X into the rings of the onion (don’t cut through the outer skins) Pour enough balsamic vinegar over the open face of the onion to cover (the area with the X cut out with be darker as it is absorbing the vinegar) – Don’t be shy with vinegar!

Pre-heat barbecue to medium or medium high heat (whatever temperature you are going to start you steaks at!) Place onions root side down on grill (I put them towards the back corner to keep them out of the way), close grill. Cook onions for 15 minutes or thereabouts skin down (skins will burn off) then flip to face side down for about 5-10 minutes to get top cooked. Remove, and cover on plate under foil for about 5 minutes (this allows you to concentrate on that great rib-eye on the Q!).

When steak is done and you are letting it rest, take onion and quarter each of the halves, removing and discarding any skins, and inedible root area. Serve onions on steak or as a side with steak – I guarantee that someone in the crowd will ask you how you did your onions!!!!

Recipe - Eazy Peazy Shrimp Pasta

Easy Peazy Shrimp pasta

9 Roma Tomatoes (Chopped and seeded)
4 tbsp fresh chopped basil
4 cloves garlic (crushed or sliced)
16 Tiger Shrimp (substitute Scallops if desired)
2 tbsp Olive Oil

Pre-heat (non-Teflon) frying pan to medium-high heat, add olive oil and tomatoes and stir and sauté until tomatoes break-down into sauce.

Add garlic and Shrimps, stir, as shrimps turn pink, lower heat to simmer and add basil. Stir for another minute – and immediately pour over cooked spaghetti.
I serve this with Parmesan cheese – and my Garlicky Garlic bread and no one gets a cold in the four counties that surround me!

Recipe - Garlicky Garlic Bread

This ain't rocket science, but someone asked for it!!!!

One loaf parisienne bread (thin baguette)

one stick (1/4 lb) butter

10 no wait 15 cloves of garlic

Soften butter (use microwave if needed) until easily stirred - not liquidy though

Chop as many cloves of garlic as you want – I like two to three per human - into fine pieces

Blend butter and garlic together

Let garlic butter stand at room temperature for one hour (or more)

Slice baguette lengthwise, spread garlic butter on bread (be liberal because people expect you to be!)wrap baguette in foil and place in oven for 15-20 minutes at 300 degrees

Remove and cut into pieces, serve and for the love of God - Don't kiss anyone who eats this!

(some may want to add parmasean cheese and broil at this time also – I always answer – Let them eat cake!)

Recipe - Thai Basil Chicken

One of my faves of all time....

Serves four

4 chicken breasts - boneless skinless - or deboned and deskinned if you prefer – slice and chop breasts into small pieces or slices (picture dice and or a gerkin for size reference)
1 red onion – medium (tennis ball sized) – chopped or sliced (how do you prefer the texture?)
1 red pepper - chopped or sliced (how do you prefer the texture?)
1 other colour sweet pepper ( I have an aversion to green – and prefer yellow or orange) - chopped or sliced (how do you prefer….getting the picture here?)
1 can coconut milk
2-4 hot thai chili peppers – I usually slice and dice one – and taste a little of the skin to judge the heat – use seeds and skins
3-4 cloves of garlic – finely chopped or pressed mercilessly through your garlic press
1 really decent sized bunch of Thai basil – chopped
3 tbsps Fish sauce
1 ½ tbsp white sugar

Seems like a lot of ingredients, but it isn’t –

First in a pre-heated wok (high high heat) add about 2 tbsps of oil (I prefer Canola – but any vegetable oil works) toss in the chicken and cook while wokking and wolling for about 4-5 minutes until the chicken is done and starting to brown.

Remove chicken to a bowl

Add one more tbsp of oil (if the original is gone – otherwise use the tbsp still in the wok and add the onion and sweet peppers, along with the garlic and chilis

Stir and cook for 6-8 minutes until the vegetables start to brown

While veggies are sizzling away in the wok – mix the fish sauce and sugar together into a syrupy-like stinking mess of goo. Add the fish sauce/sugar mixture to the veggies, stir and allow the fish sauce to boil. Boil the liquid to about half it’s original 60-90 seconds. Re-add the chicken, mix and add the coconut milk, and basil

Bring all this to a boil and serve over a nice bowl of Jasmine Rice

Recipe - Buck Burgers

Uncle Buck burgers

There’s little or no skill involved in creating a hamburger – Only personal choice. Some people love their own burgers because they add this, that or the other to it.
I love my burgers which are far healthier than almost all store bought frozen contraptions – yet still moist enough to be called a juicy burger. The key to my burgers is no onions and no garlic - for one the kids will love them, and two you won't taste them when you burp four days later!

3 lbs Lean Ground Beef (Extra Lean is too lean, Medium is not lean enough – Mama bear prefers lean please)
3 tbsp Ketchup – Heinz or the other keinz
3 tbsp Dijon (Would you like some Grey Poupon)
11 dashes of worchestshire sauce (Lea & Perrins – accept no substitute)
2 tablespoons are finely chopped fresh basil
1 egg
1/4 cup of bread crumbs (more if mixture is too soggy)

Mix all the above ingredients together in large bowl until the blob of red meat is no longer wet to the feel – it should have the same texture as the meat prior to adding all the crap to it. Add more bread crumbs if needed.

Take a piece of meat (unpacked – about the size of a baseball) roll it in your palms until the perfect ball, and the flatten the burger, use your fingers to repair the edge to look perfect. Press the middle of the burger so that it’s roughly half the width of the rest of the patty – this prevents the burgers from puffing up into a baseball.

Grill the burgs on a nice hot barbecue grill - These burgers will get great grill marks (due to the caramelization of the ketchup and Dijon), so impress your friends and do a nice criss-cross grill design! Toss onto your favorite bun, add some lettuce, tomatoes, Heinz 57, a big kosher pickle, and whatever else Jimmy has at his buffet!

Recipe - Buck Balls

I have to give Rachel Ray from Food Tv the credit for this one.

I use:

About 2 kg of Chicken thighs – boneless skinless or deboned and deskinned – your choice!

Prepare a bowl of flour (about ½ cup)

Prepare a bowl of egg (about 3 or 4 eggs)

Prepare a bowl of:
4 cups of corn flakes,
3 tbsps or brown sugar
2 tsps of Allspice
Toss all these ingredients into a food processor and mix until bread crumb-like consistency
When that is done you should have about 1 ½ cup of breading

Cut chicken into manageable sizes (chicken fingers)

Dredge chicken through flour, then coat with egg, then dredge in breading mixture

Place breaded pieces onto baking sheet, and when all chicken is done, throw into the over at 375 degrees for 15 minutes.

Remove sheet and flip all the pieces, and cook another 5-10 minutes until the chicken is done

Serve with a nice spicey dip (Hot Chili Thai Garlic sauce is a good start), some carrots, cucumbers and a beer for the grown ups!

Like a famous potato chip maker, I bet you can’t have just one!

Recipe - Don't Mess with the Meatloaf

I almost forgot to post this recipe,

Another one of my faves, and more simple than drinking a beer in the hot hot sun!

2lbs Lean Ground beef
1/4 cup of bread crumbs (I use plain no-name unbranded local grocery store - cause I'm cheap)
1 Large Egg
1/3 cup Neal Brother’s Medium Corn Salsa®

Mix the above ingredients together – if mixture is too liquidy add more bread crumbs – but the mixture should be a little “wetter” than the original ground meat was.

Place in ceramic baking dish in the shape of a log – the meat should not come within a inch of the sides of the dish – more space is always better.

Bake uncovered at 375 for 75-85 minutes until done,

Let rest in pan for 10 minutes, slice into slices about ¾ of an inch thick and serve topped with more salsa….mmmmm mmmmmm good

I serve this with a baked potato, with butter and sour cream and I usually have really wicked dreams that night when I sleep!

For something a little different, use extra lean beef and cover the raw meatloaf with 5 rashers of bacon!

Recipe - Simple Salad

This is soooo basic it’s sickening, BUT it’s sooo good that your guests will think you actually know what you are doing.

We have a massive old wooden butter bowl, so this looks overwhelming in stature, but it works

Take a good bunch of fresh greens (your choice – but I prefer Mescalin Mix) – I will add that I haven’t got a clue on the amount here – just figure on one small handful for every guest – plus two extra handfuls

Grape tomatoes (if they are not the small super sweets – then slice them in half)

Dried cranberries – Take fresh cranberries and leave them on the railing of your deck for a month – make sure the raccoons don’t get at them – Or purchase them in a bag at your local grocer – you make that call!

1/3 cup roasted or toasted pine nuts – in a frying pan at high heat, launch the plain pine nuts, and keep tossing the nuts over the high heat, about one minute of tossing – Voila – Toasted pine nuts – and you said it couldn’t be done!
Substitute candied slivered almonds instead – add a teaspoon of butter to a fry pan heated over medium high heat, toss in 1/3 cup of white granulated good stuff (sugar), mix until smoothly blended together, add almonds and toss – keep tossing until the coating is sticking to almonds and the colour is brown.

1/3 cup of crumbled blue cheese (Feta works too)

You can also add cucumbers if you wish

Dressing:

1/4 cup olive oil – I use a nice EVOO – but most any olive oil will work
2 teaspoons Dijon (Dijon IS mustard so stop calling it Dijon mustard – you wouldn’t call Champagne, that Champagne Sparkling Wine would you?)
2 teaspoons Raspberry vinegar
1 teaspoon Balsamic vinegar (Use white balsamic if on hand)
1/3 cup fresh or frozen raspberries – pureed in your blender
one large clove of garlic, sliced in half

Whisk the Dijon and Olive Oil together until nicely blended, slowly add the raspberry and balsamic vinegar while whisking the oil mixture, the three teaspoons should take almost one minute to add. Once the mixture is well mixed (when you stop whisking, the oil should no longer separate from the rest – or at least only a little separation should occur) add the raspberry puree to the mixture and stir until fully infused.

Place the dressing into a bottle, and add the two halves of the sliced garlic into the jar. Let sit – there is enough dressing here for two or three or sometimes four salads, the US and Canadian food guide will most likely tell you that this product can sit refrigerated for up to 48 hours – I will tell you that I have had it after two weeks without problem – it’s oil content will preserve virtually everything here – Enjoy!

Recipe - Ribtickolisciopus Ribs

Start with a rack or four of pork Back Ribs.

Sauce:
I used non-hickory smoked factory processed sugary ketchup based crappy sauces for this recipe - it's quick, painless and really easy.

I start with 12 ounces of sauce, add 1/4 cup of balsamic vinegar, and 3 tblsp of hot horseradish. Mix together and enjoy. (The horseradish, balsamic and sugar in the sauce provide a nice carameliztion on the meat)

I have a fairly large four burner barbecue, so I can generally get 3 or 4 racks on the grill and still be able to cook off-heat. If you can't do that, then heat your ribs in a roasting pan in the oven at 225 for about two hours.

I leave my ribs off heat (the burner (s) on med-low) on the Q for about 45 minutes, then turn them for another 45 minutes.

I then paint or rub my sauce on the up side, and turn to cook another 45 minutes off-heat. While there, paint the other side as well. No rib has ever been accused of having too much sauce on it!

After the third 45 minutes, it's cooking time. turn on all your burners, leave lid open, and cook the ribs on the heat. You have to attend to this part, becasue the sauce will burn quickly. I like to re-coat the ribs after each turn, until the ribs have about 4 or 5 layers of sauce grilled onto them and a little char to boot!

Cut the ribs into single or double boned ribs and serve.

Yummmmmmmmy

Shier than what?